


Fallen Woman

by Methoxyethane



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Drama, Gen, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-21
Updated: 2007-09-21
Packaged: 2017-10-26 04:56:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/278937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Methoxyethane/pseuds/Methoxyethane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a drowning city, the hunt for Innocence leaves Allen, Kanda, and Lavi in a bizarre guise. But even when the mission means going undercover in a whorehouse, they've got a job to do and personal feelings and opinions are only in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

This is the prolouge. Lord knows when I'll get out any more, but I figure if I post the beginning I won't have an excuse not to write it, yeah?

* * *

Wei-Ming Cho no longer had any illusions as to what Lady Anita had really meant when she told her to take care of things while she was gone. It had been several months since she and Mahoja had gone to Edo, and even if Wei-Ming had any doubts about their intentions to begin with, she was now certain they were dead. She was just grateful that they seem to have chosen that fate for themselves; many others recently hadn't been so fortunate.

She was now Lady Cho, brothel manager. Managing a brothel that seemed to be dwindling in size recently.

The whole city seemed to be going to hell, truth be told. It had been raining constantly for weeks on end, and business was suffering- probably as a result.

Her girls couldn't go out on the streets anymore. Standing around for a few hours waiting for a customer was fine in fair weather, but three girls had caught pneumonia and two had died from it, cutting off that route of business altogether when it was deemed unsafe for streetwalkers.

Granted, the rain wasn't the only reason for that. There was something of an epidemic going around town, and her brothel seemed to be particularly susceptible to what was being referred to by the townsfolk as 'The Curse-Plague'.

Lady Cho knew better though- Lady Anita had been an avid supporter of the Church, and had made sure to keep those she had influence over very aware of the dangers of their world.

But what she didn't know was why these Akuma creatures had started killing so many people- and what's more, why they seemed to have a particular liking for the girls and patrons of this brothel.

Oh, business was poor. Word around the townsfolk was that the bordello was a breeding ground for this infectious Curse-Plague, so the damned town seems to have gone celibate.

Lady Cho didn't know what to do anymore. She only had four courtesans left and not enough gentlemen to even keep them busy the whole night.

Not just her, but those girls, too... If things didn't change soon, they would be in trouble. When you can't make enough money to live as a _whore_ , the only thing left is death.

Lady Cho took a long, slow drag of her opium pipe, and tried to figure out how to advertise a house of ill-repute. The place pretty much speaks for itself, doesn't it?

That was when she saw what she immediately recognized to be their salvation.

Crowded under one large umbrella, three of the most beautiful girls Lady Cho had ever seen grace a red-light district were coming into her House.

They were all three clearly new to the area. Foreigners, in fact, although the one in the middle was at least from Asia. In fact, she looked like one of the girls from Edo Lady Cho had seen a long time ago, before the borders of that country closed for good. But, while she didn't have the exotic quality the other two had, she certainly had the grace and elegance to draw attention to her.

As they got nearer she got a better look at them. All quite young, and relatively tall from what she could tell. And all three stunning and alluring.

The youngest-looking one was probably the most impressive, though. The bright red ribbons tying her hair were the only color she had, the rest of her was snow white. From her hair, cut tragically short for it's beauty, down to the heels reaching up to her knees (or were those socks?), every inch of her was white.

Though her severe lack of color was the most striking feature, she was also very pretty. Young and innocent-looking, she had a certain air of purity that made Lady Cho wonder what she was doing coming to this place. Well, except for the complete immodesty of her short skirt, that looked pretty in place. She would be very popular- guys like the sweet and innocent type. Oh look, she was even wearing little white lace gloves. How cute.

The last one was the only one Lady Cho could tell was looking for a job just from a glance. Though she wasn't necessarily (or really at all) pretty, she was certainly up for the job. She had a strange allure, something enticing and mysterious, that made you want to get closer to her.

Or maybe Lady Cho just wanted to ask about the eye patch. Well, there was hardly a difference in curious and mysterious, and the red hair was definitely a plus. Not to mention she was the only one of the three with anything remotely similar to a bust, and even if one of them was a bit bigger than the other (or maybe they were just crooked?) they were sizable enough to make up for it.

Either way, they were an impressive bunch, sure to bring in new clientèle- after all, there was really only one reason for three foreign girls to be coming into a brothel.

When they came inside, Lady Cho greeted them without even moving from her seat. Blowing smoke out of her mouth in a slow hiss, she gave them a cunning smile. "Welcome, ladies. Would you be here for business, or pleasure?"


	2. Prolouge

Allen, Lavi and Kanda arrived in China after only two days of travel, pointedly not looking forward to the mission. Unfortunately, the original plan to send Linalee and Miranda fell through as soon as Komui got win d of the fact that his precious baby sister's cover was as a brothel maid, and Miranda couldn't be sent by herself due to her Innocence being purely support-type and the fact that she's a bit of a spaz.

They were Plan B.

When they came to what was once Anita's House of Pleasure, a small grinning woman with an opium pipe was the one to greet them.

It wasn't long before the woman, recently revealed to be the current manager, Lady Cho, began evaluating the trio's suitability for employment.

Lavi, for his part, looked rather uncomfortable during the questioning. "I really didn't think there'd be an interview, y'know? Usually girls come to these places after being _sold,_ so..."

Lady Cho sent another lazy smirk at him. "I like to make sure new girls are up to our standard of quality. We've got a reputation to uphold, after all."

She cast a slow glance around at them, stopping on Allen. "So... You girls have any... _experience?_ "

Allen started giggling, which quickly descended into full- blown laughter. The other occupants of the room watched, surprised, until he settled into small snickering.

"If we didn't have any-" his voice broke with laughter again, "- _experience_ , don't you think we would've tried to get a real job before coming here?"

Lady Cho nodded, still slightly wide-eyed in the wake of Allen's outburst. "I... See. So, you three know each other well, or is you're coming together a coincidence."

"We're sisters."

The most bizarre part of this statement, Allen decided, was the fact that Kanda said it with a perfectly straight face.

Lady Cho could only think that the only way for her to believe this any less was if one of them was eight feet tall and a mutant rabbit.

Lavi sensed her incredulity. Sort of hard not to, what with that look on her face that said 'the only way I could believe that any less was if one of you was an eight-foot tall mutant rabbit.' "Ah, in the strictly biological sense we're not sisters, but we've known each other so long it feels like we are! None of us have families anymore, and a long time ago we kind of found each other and have been together ever since, so we just say we're sisters. It feels like we are, anyway."

Lady Cho nodded. "I suppose that means it's all or nothing, then? I was thinking I might not want the cyclops, but if it's a package deal I think we can make use of her. So, you ladies have names?"

Lavi sort of blanched at the cyclops remark, but Allen cut in before he could say anything potentially damaging. "I'm Ellen Walker, This is Kanda Yuuko, and this is Lavi. We've very pleased to meet you."

Lady Cho nodded again and stood up, tapping her opium pipe on an ashtray to empty the burnt-out contents. She made to leave, and before she was quite out of the room she told them that she was going to make preparations necessary to accommodate to her new employees, and that if they would kindly wait there she'd be back shortly.

Kanda turned to Lavi sharply after Lady Cho made her leave. "I told you you shouldn't have come. You're ugly even for a whore, no one's going to give you any information when you look like a transvestite!"

"I'm sorry, but... I _really_ wanted to. Did you seriously think I'd pass up the opportunity to see you two in drag? I'm willing to hand out a hand job or two just to see you in heels, Yuuko-chan; this is totally worth it."

Kanda scowled deeply, and didn't bother suppressing a low, furious growl. He grabbed Lavi by the collar and hissed out through clenched teeth, "You only don't care because you won't actually have to _do_ anything! You make the ugliest woman out of us all, you really think you'll have any customers? No! You won't! Because _I'm_ going to be the one going down on perverts while we try to find the Innocence, while you sit back here and laugh you ass off!"

Allen shook his head and tried to quell Kanda's flaring temper. "Look," he sighed and hesitated for a moment. "Yuuko," he continued, not-quite stumbling over the name."If you're creative about it, you don't actually have to do much..." he paused again, trying to find the most tactful way to explain, " _work_."

The two others looked over at him, giving him their full attention and willed him to continue in greater detail.

He gestured in the air vaguely and looked in a non-committal direction. "Like, get him so drunk he passes out before you can actually get, uh... Down to business."

He gave them a bright, glowing smile, that completely countered his next statement. "Or you could knock him unconscious, stomp on his crotch and pull his pants down around his ankles. When he wakes up like that, he'll think he must have had the best night of his life!"

The other two stared at him, wide eyed. Allen blinked at their stunned silence, and reddened in the face a little. "Did I... Say something strange?"

They continued to stare. Lavi shook his head slowly. "You are a truly frightening person at times, Ellen Walker."

Allen frowned, and sharply turned his head way, still red in the face from embarrassment. "I just figured since we're not actually here to make money we could afford to take shortcuts. If you wanna deep-throat some guy when it's not strictly necessary to do so, be my guest."

Kanda had since released Lavi and was currently trying very hard not to appear as uncomfortable as he felt. "I'll keep that in mind, I guess."

Lavi was still staring at Allen, though his look had turned from shock to one of intrigue. "Where'd you even get an idea like that? And you seem to be really comfortable in this situation- it's kind of weird. Most fifteen year old boys would have more of a problem with dressing up like a girl and joining a whorehouse, but you not only pull off the look; you can also fit right right in without any trouble. What the hell could make you so at ease in this situation, Ellen?"

Allen smiled a plastic smile over barely-suppressed rage. "Oh, don't tell me you forgot my upbringing, Lavi. I spent my adolescence with Cross Marian- I know my way around a brothel better than half of the girls in this place probably do.

"I had to take care of his money problems, of course, but he also used me to get _discounts_ on _hookers_! He used to have me go to the streets and pick up women, and even had me tell them stories about how if I didn't bring back a woman ' _the Master would take out his frustrations on me'_. That scumbag used a little kid to exploit the kindness of whores! How sick is that! Not to mention the fact that in their _kindness_ , some of the hookers would give me advise on _how to please a man_ , so that ' _next time, he won't get so angry and maybe go a little easier_ '. I can tell you all the different blow job techniques in three languages by now. I even had a German prostitute tell me exactly how to find the prostate."

More stunned silence. This time, at least, Allen was expecting as much. "You mean he sexually abused you!"

Allen deadpanned. "No. But the hookers didn't know that."

Still more silence. "Oh. Also, when I hit puberty, his solution was to bring me to a brothel and tell the manager to 'find a nice girl who knows how to take care of a first timer'. I really can't think of any way to make losing one's virginity more awkward than that was. But maybe that worked out for the best considering the fact that that was so horrifying I haven't so much as _thought_ about sex since then."

And still more silence. Expected, unsurprising silence. Allen just smiled brightly and turned towards the door. "In any case, I believe we're here because we have a job to do. Shall we?"

Lavi seemed to have processed this new and mildly disturbing information, and didn't take long to try and lighten the mood. He grinned jauntily and slung an arm around Allen's shoulder. "So, you must really know your stuff then, eh? Looks like you'll be putting your knowledge to use real soon, huh?"

Allen gave him an equally stunning grin in return. "Oh, I'd be happy to give you a hands-on demonstration since your so interested, Lavi."

Lavi's grin faltered at that. "Eh?"

Allen continued to beam at him.

"Che'! You're a little shit, aren't ya?" His grin returned, and he suddenly wished it was possible to wink suggestively with an eye patch on. "Oh, I think I'd like that a great deal, Ellen. Unfortunately, we're on the job right now, so that'll have to wait 'till we get home, won't it?"

The wink proved unnecessary, as Allen retaliated slyly. "Well, the anticipation just makes it all the better, though, doesn't it?"

Kanda resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "You're idiots and I hate you both."


	3. Lo Mein and The Most Unhelpful Tour Ever

Kanda Yuu hated a lot of things. Too many to be named, in fact- it was easier just to ask what he _does_ like and work backwards (though the list of things he's mostly indifferent to is pretty big, too, so that might not actually be that fast either). Right now, though, the thing he hates the most in this world is very easily Lavi. In fact, while Lavi doesn't sit very high overall, every time Kanda's in the other man's presence he seems to shoot up that list, right to the top spot (while Allen just ranked high in general).

Right now, for instance, Kanda could say in all honesty that he hated the red-headed bookman more than anything. And not even for any particular reason- he was just being an ass. Like usual.

"My goodness, you certainly are a _tall_ woman, aren't you?" The girl who was supposed to be showing them around (whose name escaped Kanda) stated needlessly.

"I try." Lavi shot back with a crooked grin.

"Yes, I can tell- but those heels don't look very comfortable, why do you need to wear them?"

Lavi's grin got impossibly wide. "I like how they make my ass look."

"Jesus Christ, Lavi, if you ever say anything like that again I swear to God I will run you through." Kanda bit out sharply.

"With what, Yuuko, your _umbrella_?" Lavi teased.

Kanda's eyes gleamed, "Yes. With my umbrella. You know that being **stabbed** by a dull object is _more_ painful than being stabbed by something sharp and clean, don't you?"

Allen waved his hands in a non-threatening gesture, "Come on now, Yuuko, you know she's just kidding. Let's not overreact, okay?"

Kanda glared at Allen, but seemed to let it drop, internally deciding that no, he didn't hate Lavi most of the time- only when he **talked**. At _all_. Which was most of the time. He bit back a curse and turned to the girl who had taken them to what would serve as their private quarters, he asked "So, what can we expect in terms of how much we'll be working?"

She cocked her head a little, and looked as thoughtful as one could look when they they gave off the impression of having the personality and approximate intelligence of a small bird. "Um, well... Not many people have been coming lately 'cuz they think this place is cursed, but Lady Cho said that having you guys will probably bring more people in, so... Well, I know _I_ won't be busy! I don't know about you though. Depends on how many people are more interested in you than superstition, I guess, but probably only a couple a night at best. Maybe more if you go out and like, show off, I guess, and you get to charge more when you're working the streets, but with the rain and the cold no one's really been working the streets anymore, so if you go I bet you'll get a lot of business from guys who only pick up girls and not come here, but that's only if you don't get killed and turn into dust anyway, so I really don't know. Does that help?"

She had a light and airy voice; probably due to having all that air in her head, Kanda thought, deciding that comparing her to a bird was an insult to the intelligence of avian creatures everywhere. "Quite helpful. Thank you."

"Really? I'm so glad! No one ever says I'm helpful! You're name's Yuuko, right? Let's be like, best friends! I can show you around then place, and we can have girl talk, because it's so boring here when there aren't any guys, you know? Guys always make things more fun, I think. Oh! But that doesn't mean we can't have fun with just us girls, of course! I'm Ling Lo Mei, by the way, but everyone just calls me Lo Mein."

Kanda thought that this was an apt nickname for a girl who clearly had noodles for brains. He hoped that by not saying anything, she would lose interest and wander off, and thusly ignored her.

Apparently, though, Lavi disagreed with his tactic, and saw fit to once again remind Kanda of why he hated the man. "Oh, you don't want to make friends with Yuuko, she's so quiet and boring and whenever she says anything it's always mean. But I'll be your friend! I'm Lavi!"

Lo Mein looked absolutely elated to have apparently made a new friend. "Nice to meet you, Lavi! I'm Ling Lo Mei, but you can call me Lo Mein!" She had that almost-thoughtful look on her face again, "Is she really that mean? She seemed so nice to me, though!"

By this time, Lavi had slung an arm around her shoulder, and Kanda realized that they could be chatting it up for a very long time. He felt a headache coming. "Oh, trust me, she's mean all right. Didn't you hear her threatening me with her umbrella? She's terrible! Me and Ellen here are real nice, though, and I think we should get to know each other!"

"Oh, you're right, I remember that! That was an awful thing to say! She'd ruin her pretty umbrella!"

"That would be a terrible shame, wouldn't it?" Lavi agreed, nodding sagely.

Allen joined in the chatter (Kanda could bring himself to call this a conversation), "But Lavi's right, we should get to know each other, Lo Mein, it would be great if we could be friends. The three of us are still all so new to this place, it would be nice to know someone with more experience. How long have you been here?"

Lo Mein beamed at Allen, "Oh, about a year now. I used to play around with the boys in the neighborhood a lot, so Father said I'd never end up married. But he was wrong, 'cuz one day he caught me and Jing together and he forced him to marry me! Wasn't that nice of Daddy? But I didn't get pregnant and after that my husband said I was useless as I wife because I can't cook and I always break things, so he sold me here. Oh, didn't get that look on your faces, I'm really glad he did! This is a lot more fun than tottering around some house all day with a guy yelling at you every time you do something wrong, right? Besides, I'm _good_ at this!"

Allen nodded. "I see. So you've been here kind of a while, then? When did this 'curse' happen?"

"Oh, I dunno, a while after it started raining and wouldn't stop, which was about... I dunno, a while ago? But the people started dying left and right about a month or something after that, so the rain might not actually have anything to do with anyone dying. Well, except for the ones who die _because_ of the rain, but they aren't the ones who turn into dust, anyway, and people die from the rain all over the place, not just here. Well, people die from the Curse-Plague all over the place too, just y'know, _mostly_ around here, you know? But I still don't think that we have anything to do with that!"

Allen nodded patiently, "Right, okay, but how long ago was it that the Curse-Plague started, then?"

Kanda was really started to hate that stupid ditzy look on Lo Mein's face, the one where she looked like she was trying to see if she was actually capable of coherent thought. "Um..." She trailed off, and everyone immediately knew that she was not a good place to find decent information. There would be information, yes, and lots of it, but lord help them if they actually got anything _useful._

"Nevermind, Lo Mein, it's not really that important anyway, I just wanted to know how long business has been this poor, anyway, and it's not like that actually matters anymore, right? So, why don't you show us around some more?" Allen cut her off quickly, preempting what could have been a very long and useless statement. Something unusual, as in his experience Allen usually only proved to goad annoying people into further talking. Like with Lavi. Who never shut up to _begin_ with.

"Right, right! Let's go back downstairs, then. You can meet some of the other girls! Well, more like all of them, 'cuz there's only four of us anymore, unless you count Lady Cho, then there's five. Oh! Plus you guys are here, too, so now that makes seven!"

"Eight," Lavi corrected quickly.

Lo Mein blinked. "Eight what?"

"Eight people."

"Eight people? What eight people? Are eight more coming?"

All three boys stared at her, as if trying to figure out if it was really possible for someone to be this stupid. Lavi sighed and shook his head. "Never mind. Where are the others, then?"

She smiled brightly yet again, and led them back downstairs. As they were led, they almost passed right by one of the other occupants of the House, who was arguing quietly with a young man in front of the door.

"Who's that?"

Lo Mein looked at the pair, and sighed dramatically. "Looks like Nan'uei's back again. He always comes here to talk to his sister, that's her there, by the way, Chi-Lin. Anyway, he comes here to try to talk to her a lot, but he's not a customer, so Lady Cho doesn't really like having him around. Looks like I'll have to wait to introduce you to her, it's pretty rude to interrupt, and it always seems to make them fight more next time he comes when they don't finish. Anyway, that still leaves Ranfan and Kou Loun, and I bet I even know where they are! We can come back later."

As the group wandered off, Kanda stayed behind, deciding that if he had to listen to Lo Mein any more today he really _would_ kill someone.

He hadn't wanted to eavesdrop until he remembered that that was one of the best ways to get information in a situation like this, and resigned himself that it was better than trying to interact with anyone else directly. That clearly hadn't ended well _last_ time.

"Look, Chi-Lin, Xian'Ou has gotten a job on a ship now, so he can bring more money back- not to mention that that means while he's away there's one less mouth to feed. And you know I've gotten a job in town, so we really can buy you out of here. Please, just come back home already!"

She shook her head slowly. "I'm sorry, but I already told you, I'm staying here. I don't want to live off of my brothers for the rest of my life, and you know I'm not getting remarried. I may not be suited for most jobs, but at least here I can provide for myself! It's not like I'm out on the streets, I'm perfectly safe here."

"Don't be ridiculous! You know better than anyone it's not safe here! For God's sake, look around you, everyone is dying! As if having to watch my sister sell herself wasn't bad enough, I have to worry constantly about whether or not you'll be killed, too! Please, Chi-Lin, for once in your life listen to reason!"

"I'm sorry, but you know I've made up my mind." She smiled sadly at him, "Besides, you shouldn't be worrying about me anyway, and you certainly shouldn't be trying to bring me home. You have to think of yourself, now- you should find a wife, have children. It's good that you love your family, but it's time you start one of your own, don't you think? You said yourself you've got the money now."

He looked frustrated, but apparently he bit back his tongue and just shook his head. "You know I won't do that. I can't start worrying about myself until I know you're safe."

She sighed. "We've had this argument a thousand times before, Nan'Uei, you should know by now that you won't win."

He smiled sadly at her. "That won't stop me from trying, even if we have to have it a thousand more times." He looked up out the open doorway they were standing in, into the rain. "Well, I know that as the cue that you won't listen anymore, so I guess I'll go now. I'll be back tomorrow."

"I know you will."

Nan'Uei apparently didn't hear the footsteps softly gliding towards him, as he looked quite stunned when a large umbrella opened over his head. He looked over to see Kanda standing not a foot away from him, and made the intelligent observation, "Huh?"

Kanda glanced at him. "I'll walk with you. For a while."

Nan'Uei blinked. "But... Why?"

"You... Could get sick." Was Kanda's reply, deciding it to be a perfectly reasonable excuse for following someone to try to leak information out of them.

"Oh. Uh, thanks. You know, all I would really need is the uh, umbrella. So you shouldn't bother yourself."

Kanda tried not to glare at him. "Then _I_ wouldn't have the umbrella. Besides, I was going out anyway- it's not like I'm actually going out of my way."

Nan'Uei blinked dumbly. "Oh. Okay. Should I at least carry it for you? It looks kind of heavy..."

"You touch it and I'll break your hand, you bast- Uh... I mean, No. That's alright. I'd rather carry it myself."

"Uh, okay, then. So, who are you?"

As Chi-Lin watched them walk out, she heard behind a freshly closed door the muffled reply after a brief silence. The single quiet word, "Yuuko," was the last thing she heard before turning back inside.

Chi-Lin smiled to herself.

...Oops. It seems as though I have accidentally introduced three OC's in one chapter. I meant to keep it down to, like... One. _Maybe_ two. Maybe. And Lo Mein is the sweetest, stupidest girl ever. Oh, Christ, what have I done...? The story can't progress without them, though, so I'll just have to hope for the best, yeah? Yeah. Shit. I like them too much. I'd better not introduce anyone other than these four, huh? Otherwise things could get messy...


	4. Ranfan and The Prospects Of Miranda Lott

The rain pattered softly on the top of the umbrella, drowning out the sounds of Nan'Uei and Kanda's footsteps. For a long while, it was in fact the only sound, the otherwise silence between them undisturbed as Kanda allowed the other to lead the way.

Eventually, though, Kanda saw fit to break through the silence.

"How long has it been raining?"

Nan'Uei looked at him, surprised. "Excuse me?"

A furrowed brow was the only sign of irritation Kanda showed outwardly, though the following answer of "How long has it been raining," was quipped out with an enunciation on each syllable as though he were talking to a fool. Which he probably figured he was.

"The rain? Oh, uh, I dunno- er,"

Kanda watched as Nan'Uei sputtered, before the man shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and tried again.

"I mean, it's been raining for three months and... Almost two weeks."

A delicately plucked (and oh, how Kanda hated Linalee for _that_ ) eyebrow raised.

Nan'Uei looked almost abashed. "I know because, uh... It sort of coincides with something else that happened. Sort of."

Kanda patiently waited for him to continue. Nan'Uei obliged.

"My brother... died. Well, not really my brother, but my brother-in-law. Well, almost. They were about to be married, but... Anyway, it started raining the next night after he... After it happened. And then it just... never stopped." He finished, looking towards the cloudy sky from under the umbrella.

Kanda processed this information, considering it for a moment, and decided to continue the conversation.

He figured the polite thing to do would be to ask.

"How did it happen?"

Nan'Uei looked at him, as if surprised that the conversation was actually still going on, and Kanda decided he truly was an idiot, and was entirely unsurprised by the revelation.

"He was kicked in the head by an ox."

Kanda just stared. He had heard of many dumb ways to die, but that, by far, had to be the stupidest. "I see."

Silence reigned once more for a while, and Kanda tried to think of a subtle way to pry more information out of the man. He was, however, unsuccessful in this endeavor, as Nan'Uei turned to him and stated "Well, this is my house."

Kanda looked at him, but said nothing. Nan'Uei blushed a little, and turned away quickly. "Thank you for walking with me, Yuuko. I'll be back to visit my sister tomorrow, so... Maybe I'll see you then." He said, pointedly not looking at Kanda.

"Yes. Perhaps you will."

Nan'Uei went into his house, and Kanda walked away.

He then found the nearest payphone, plugged in the Golem he had in his sleeve, and called Marie and Krory.

"Hey. I need you guys to give me money. So it looks like I've been working."

* * *

Meanwhile, Lavi and Allen were still wandering around with Lo Mein, who seemed to have somehow gotten them lost. They had met Ranfan, who had greeted them very politely and continued shaving her legs, and had so far yet to meet the last girl.

"So, um, this is the privy. You know what it's used for, right? Of course you do, how could you not? Everyone knows what a latrine is for. Besides, I think I've shown you this one before. Um..."

Allen sighed. They had gotten absolutely no information out of her, and had been wandering around in circles for the last ten minutes.

"And this is the kitchen, where we make the food. Do you guys know how to cook? We used to have a lot more people here, and some of them cooked, but now it's down to just us so everyone pretty much cooks for themselves. Although we sometimes do have someone cook enough for everyone, and I'm not allowed to cook at all, so instead they have me do the laundry 'cuz it's a lot harder to screw up and even when I do nothing breaks or like, puts anyone in danger, but I have accidentally turned all the whites pink and all the blacks grey, and I'm not sure how I did that but nobody really cares I guess because they didn't say anything, you know? Oh my god, I just remembered! I got so caught up with showing you guys around I totally forgot I have work to do! Oh, I gotta go, will you guys be alright? You can find your way around, right?"

Lavi and Allen stared at the blatant panic that had suddenly arisen in Lo Mein's eyes, and calmly reassured her, "We'll be just fine, really! You go ahead. We'll find our way back on our own, okay?"

Lo Mein bounced hurriedly for a moment, before running off with a shout of "Okay, bye! Good luck and just find me if you need anything, k?" and disappearing.

Allen and Lavi just looked at each other for a moment before heading back to the room Lo Mein had earlier pointed out to be theirs.

Once inside, they said nothing for a moment. However, Lavi seemed to have noticed something off about the younger boy, as he turned to ask "So, what's wrong?"

Allen looked at Lavi, surprised, and looked away again quickly. "Nothing, really."

"Come on now, don't be like that. I can tell you're thinking about _something,_ so why don't you just tell me outright? Otherwise I'll have to squeeze the information out of you."

Allen blinked. "Squeeze?"

"Like a juicer."

"I could totally do it."

Allen just laughed then, "You know what, Lavi? Knowing you, I'm sure you could."

He smiled at him, and for another moment nothing was said. Eventually, though, Allen sighed and admitted "It's just that... I was thinking about what Lo Mein said earlier."

Lavi raised an eyebrow. "You're gonna have to be more specific than that, you know."

"Er, right. Well, the part where she talked about why she came here, and how she was useless at everything she does so she ended up here, and... "

"And?"

"It reminded me... Of Miranda, actually. She got fired from over a hundred jobs before she became an Exorcist, you know? So if it wasn't for the Time Record, and everything that happened..."

"I see what you mean. But, to be perfectly honest..."

Allen looked at him expectantly.

"I don't think she would have been good at _this_ , either."

Allen blinked, then laughed, in spite of himself. "That's a terrible thing to say, you know."

"Doesn't stop it from being true."

And for a while, everything was okay. Even if they were dressed like girls, even if they were expected to do terrible things tomorrow, or even tonight, even if Kanda ran off somewhere and hadn't come back yet; Lavi was with Allen, and that was good enough.

Because when they were together, Allen couldn't help but feel like everything would be okay.

* * *

AN: Yeah, I know-it's been friggin' forever since the last update, yeah? And _this_ is what I give you? Well, it took a long time to re-write after my computer crashed, it wasn't even close to having been done all at once, so if it feels choppy... That's because it is. So there.

More to come...Eventually...


	5. Fallen Woman The Chapter That Wasn't Supposed To Be

At the end of the day, there was one thing could easily be said.

Kanda was wet, cold, and tired as fuck.

Well, okay, that was more like three, wasn't it?

After Kanda had weaseled a reasonable sum of money from Krory and Marie, he had somehow managed to get himself completely and utterly fucking lost, a state he remained in for the next several hours.

And was still currently in, much to his undying frustration.

He had wandered around the damned town, probably made four laps by now, and yet the brothel's location still continued to elude him.

A small voice in the back of his mind argued that this was his own fault for going off on his own when he clearly had no sense of direction, to which a separate voice retorted that that's what Finders were for, he didn't need one anyway, and that left was clearly the direction to turn now.

Kanda cursed the wall staring at him from the end of the dead end he had just found.

So really, the one thing that could be said at the end of the day (though his day was clearly not over what with still having no clue where he was and all) was that Kanda was painfully, idiotically lost.

The main problem though, was the fact that he didn't have to be. He knew he could wander around until he found a phone with which he could easily get in touch with Lavi, who with his Bookman's memory could surely figure out exactly where his lost comrade was with only the scantest details about his surroundings, where he could then either direct Kanda back or even come get him.

Kanda refused to give him the satisfaction. He'd rather spend the next three days in the rain than to give Lavi this to hold over him. Because Lavi would lord the fact that the stubborn Yuu Kanda had actually come to _Lavi_ for help in, of all things, getting DIRECTIONS, over his head for the rest of eternity.

No. He wouldn't allow that. In fact, Lavi would never even know how ridiculously fucking lost he was. Ever.

All he had to do was get out of this fucking alleyway and back to the brothel on his own.

Kanda looked around. The street he was on was familiar. He was pretty sure he'd been there before. Possibly several times.

Retracing his steps was now impossible. He had already tried to ask for directions (which did in fact count as getting back on his own, thank you very much), but he was advised to avoid that cursed place if he valued his life. There was no longer anyone out to ask, anyway.

Seeking someone out by finding a business open at this hour felt too much like defeat to him, and he thus refused to take such measures.

Kanda tried to remember everything he knew about what to do when lost.

The sun had gone down hours ago, but he didn't know where it had been when it set, so he didn't know where west was. Even if there were trees around, which there weren't, he could never remember which side moss grew on anyway (maybe it was south...?). He couldn't use the stars because it was raining and there weren't any out. He could go off of which side of the town faced the port, but he was currently lost enough to not know where the port was, or even where his destination was in reference to it.

Therefore, the only conclusion there was to be made was that he was completely and utterly fucked. Fantastic.

He knew that there was something one was supposed to do in such situations, but he was fairly certain they all involved lumberjacking. He immediately abandoned the thought and started walking in a random direction.

"Um, excuse me?"

Kanda's head whipped around to stare at sudden intrusion of his contemplation, only to find out that the voice belonged to none other than... Fuck, what was his name again? Something like 'Norway', he was pretty sure.

"Yes?"

The young man looked a little abashed, scratching the back of his head awkwardly as he asked "You're not lost,are you?"

Kanda's immediate reaction was to say 'of course not', immediately followed by 'yes, desperately so'. He instead said the third thing that came to mind.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Um, this is where I live." He said, gesturing to a house several meters away. To Kanda's great humiliation, he did in fact remember the house from earlier that night, leading him to the realization that he had just spent four hours walking in a big god-damned circle.

Mom's Way or whatever his name was continued speaking. "You've just been standing here looking around for the past few minutes, so I just figured... Well, do you need any help?"

Kanda finally resigned, figuring there was no point in denying it anyway. "No, I think I can find my way back now that I know where I am."

"Are you sure? I could walk you back, no problem, you know."

"It's fine. I should be able to find my way."

"Well, maybe, but... It's just not very safe. It's late, and you- you're... Well, you could be attacked! The Curse-Plague has gotten to so many already, and that's not even mentioning how dangerous just the _people_ of this town can be... I just don't think you should be wandering around by yourself, is all."

Truthfully, Kanda would have welcomed an Akuma attack. It would have given him something better to vent his frustrations on than that sign post that no longer existed. Unfortunately, Krory and Marie had done a very good job of cleaning up the Akuma in the area, leaving none for Kanda to hack apart.

However, there was no way to explain just how much danger Kanda _wasn't_ in.

He looked at the now soaking man in front of him. The best thing to do in this situation would be to tell him to go back home and not worry about a perfect stranger. However, from his experiences with Nen-Wi (or something) so far, he had also deduced that this wouldn't be the easiest.

Kanda was tired, cold, wet, and kind of hungry. He just wanted to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible.

He sighed. "Get under the damned umbrella, you idiotic mule. Let's just go."

No Way's face brightened despite the insult, and they were on their way.

A while later, Kanda discovered It was actually very fortunate that he let himself be accompanied home, because it turns out he wouldn't have been able to navigate his way back on his own, anyway. Or at least, it would have taken a hell of a lot longer.

However, due to his little... expedition earlier, paired with the fact that NOW he knew where the bordello actually was, he was now confident he could navigate his way around the entire city without getting lost.

Or at least, _as_ lost.

As Kanda walked in the door, bidding (the bastard's name was on the tip of his tongue!) his escort farewell, he was unfortunate enough to run into Lavi.

"Well, you were certainly gone a long time, weren't you, Yuuko? Working hard, or did you just get lost?"

Kanda finished wringing out the sock he was removing, twisted it up and smacked Lavi with it.

"Fuck! That _stings!_ "

"Eh? Lavi, what happened to your face?" Allen asked, staring at the large red mark on Lavi's left cheek.

Lavi grinned at Allen, and scratched the back of his head."Yuuko's back."

"Ah. What'd you say to make her just punch you instead of trying to cut you open?"

"Punch me? Bitch gave me a rat-tail with her dirty sock! If it'd been a punch I wouldn't have to wash the sweaty-dirt water off. Do you know how much make-up I'm wearing?"

"Not as much as Kanda, I'd say." Allen remarked, thinking of the image of Kanda trying to apply the white powder this morning, and how he had looked like he'd dipped his face in flour. In the end, he had just given up and let Lavi help, Allen recalled. "And besides, don't you know? Whores rouge, ladies pinch."

"Um, Ellen? Which are we closer to right now?"

"...It's just a saying."

Lavi shook his head with a grin, and let the matter drop.

The conversation ended, but Lavi didn't take his eyes off Allen.

Lavi, in recent times, had taken on the most peculiar habit of staring at Allen Walker. This was painfully unusual in the fact that, as a bookman, he just didn't stare.

Being eidetic means there isn't a single thing in this universe Lavi needs to stare at to memorize. Regardless of this fact, he found himself contemplating the Destroyer of Time on an almost obsessive basis.

He knew every plane of his face by heart; every expression that crossed his face could be predicted, every movement anticipated.

On the other hand, foretelling people's actions and expressions wasn't actually in the least bit unusual for Lavi- knowing how people will act before they do was just part of his skill, and it was what made him an exemplary actor. It was thanks to this that he had been able to take up and discard forty-eight aliases. Wait, This mission made forty-nine.

Either way, the trouble was that he, for some reason, wasn't satisfied. Knowing Allen's face and movements only made him want to know more, memorize every aspect of his mind and body.

In short, Lavi wanted to see Allen naked.

He blamed it on the miniskirt. The view of Allen's bare thighs he had was driving Lavi crazy, as he imagined it was supposed to. Quite generally, saying that he wanted to commit every angle of Allen Walker's body to memory was just the delicate way of putting it.

And at the moment, Lavi was contemplating this fact while trying to resist the urge to peek under Allen's skirt while the latter glanced in the direction of the door outside.

"I wonder if she found anything while she was out..." he caught Allen mumbling, before shaking his head. "Probably would have said something if he had."

And, as Lavi watched Allen make his way to the kitchen, momentarily bending over to pull up the knee-high sock slipping down his calf, Lavi decided that this was going to be a very long mission.


	6. Interlude: How they got here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter I call: What Should Probably Have Been The First Chapter Or The Prolouge, And Yet For Some Reason Is Neither. Also, it's actually supposed to be chapter four, not three, but... I got impatient in the writing and just decided to post what I actually had.

.

* * *

At the Black Order's European Headquarters, Komui Lee was in a very good mood. Also, he was slightly afraid for his life. Both were completely natural reactions to the current situation.

After all, sending Kanda and Allen away, particularly away from Linalee, allways put Komui in a good mood. However...

Kanda and Allen glared at each other from opposite sides of the room, reminding Komui of two children being put on Time-Out for getting into a fight. Or for not sharing. Or for purposely aiming for eachother's faces in dodgeball. Or pulling on a girl's pigtails and putting them in ink. Wait minute- Linalee has pigtails! Those little demons! Boys are terrible.

Allen abruptly interupted Komui's train of thought with an unpleasant sneer. "You're not seriously going to make me go on another mission with just _him_ , are you?"

Kanda returned Allen's sneer with an even less pleasant snarling sound. "I'm sure that whatever needs to be taken care of I can do _myself_."

The glaring continued with even greater gusto, making Komui very glad that the he hadn't used either of them to test out his idea of implanting Laser Vision on a human, because if he had they clearly would be burning holes in each others heads.

But Lavi only had one eye left, and he could never try out such a dangerous operation on his precious Linalee, so who else was there to give Laser Vision to?

Of course! Krory! Now that that was solved, back to the issue at hand.

Oh. Right. The issue at hand was Kanda and Allen's snarling and sneering like snide snakes. Hmm, he could do better than that... Snarling and sneering like a snide, sneezing snake and a sneaky, snorting snail! Snuggling in the snow! With Snoopy! Ha! He was such a genius. Okay, back to work.

"Unfortunately, this time it's actually necessary for it to be the two of you, rather than it just being funny."

"What was that?"

"Funny?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. You see, you two are the only ones qualified for this particular mission, as you're then only ones pretty enough to pull it off."

This, understandably, caused the two hormonaly-imbalanced teenagers to stare at him in confusion.

Komui grinned to himself, basking in their wide-eyed confusion. Ah, how he loved tormenting the youth. And by that he of course meant that he loved... Enlightening them! Ending their confusion in life matters as a good role model should! Naturally!

He cleared his throat. "You see, a while ago we sent a number of Finders to investigate an area. As they are currently all deceased, we gathered that there are Akuma in the area, and therefore probably Innocence as well.

"Naturally, we sent a pair of Exorcists, that being Arystar Krory and Noise Marie. It's been two weeks since then, and I just got a message saying that they've been having good luck exterminating the Akuma, but in terms of information about the Innocence... Well, they've had rocks thrown at them whenever they try to ask the locals. Big ones. Krory seems to have had his collarbone broken by one of them. Very unfortunate.

"Anyway, it is therefore clear that we need a better way of gathering info, which is where you two come in!

"Now, from the information the Finders sent us before they cacked, the majority of the Akuma-related deaths are centered in one area. This area is one very farmiliar to the Order, however we recently lost all of our contacts there after the Ark incident- well, before the Ark, actually, more like on the boat you took to reach the Ark, but whatever.

"Anyways, we no longer know anyone at the whorehouse, which is the one place that a large number of deaths have in common. The easiest route, I decided, is to send a pair of Exorcists, undercover, to infiltrate the brothel, where hopefully they won't get rocks thrown at them.

"Reever, that stupid jerk, wanted to send my precious Linalee with Miranda there! Like I could ever allow such a thing! I won't let my darling and beautiful sister's innocence to be tainted in such a manner! Never!

"In any case, this is where you two come in, as Linalee and Miranda are the only two female Exorcists left besides General Cloud, who obviously has better things to be spending her time on. You two are the only ones we have who are young and pretty enough to pass for girls. Any questions?"

After a moment of silence, punctuated by blank stares, Kanda immediately leapt at Komui with a sword pointed at his throat.

Later, when Kanda was sedated- er, clamed down, the two finally, reluctantly, agreed, for the sake of the mission. It was at the point when Komui's office was clear of anyone with murderous intent, and he was properly bandaged (and slightly medicated), that Lavi appeared before him.

Apparently, the entirety of the castle could hear Kanda's bloodthirtsy screams of rage, as Lavi was now very aware of the mission's parameters, and he had been in the Library when Komui thought of, and assigned, the mission.

He approached Komui with the request that he aslo be put on the mission, please, please, please, he just had to understand how badly Lavi wanted to see this, and for the love of God, don't deny him this opportunity. Komui heartlily agreed, and then breifly considered getting stitches on his newly aquired wounds as he downed another four asprin, before shrugging the idea off and falling asleep at his desk.

The next stage, was, of course, getting three boys a makeover radical enough to make them pass for women, twenty-four seven and at close proximities.

Komui wanted to use Komurin IV Mini's 'Kirei' capabilities, as he loved the results from the last time it went on the fritz, but this idea was promptly extinguished by Linalee. Or, more specifically, Linalee's boots.

Instead, Linalee was put in charge, who then drafted General Cloud Nine, who agreed because she took it as a challenge to her womanly capabilities. At least, that's what she said- the truth is the General just thought it was funny and wanted to be there when the boys started tottering around in heels for the first time.

The process was a grueling one, which was enjoyed thouroughly by everyone who wasn't directly involved. Quite generally, getting Kanda to stop being an asshole, even in favor of just making him into an icy cold bitch, wasn't easy.

Fortunately, getting Kanda to act more ladylike was basically the only thing they needed to work on besides slapping his wrists with a leather swatch every time he rubbed at his makeup.

Allen was a dream to work with, General Cloud later told Komui (who was not allowed anywhere near the process). Apparently the kid was an excellent actor, which, along with the massive amount of time he spent around prostitues during his three years with Cross Marian, allowed him to act like a woman with enough skill to fool pretty much anyone. Granted, he didn't exactly know the mannerisms of high society women, but that wasn't what was being aimed for anyway, so it didn't really matter.

Lavi was a chore. Lavi was beyond a chore. Lavi was the most difficult endeavor the two women had ever undergone.

Not only did they have to figure out how to make him look like a woman, they had to get him to act like one, too. Lavi was no where near feminine in either respect.

In terms of appearance, neither Cloud nor Linalee could come up with anything that didn't make him look like a drag queen. It was, surprisingly enough, (or maybe not surprisingly at all,) Allen who finally found a style that Lavi could pass for a woman in.

With his expeirence with ladies of the evening in the entirety of the Western Hemisphere, Allen deduced that Lavi would probably look the least repulsive as an American-style showgirl/barwench, and to everyone's (particularly Lavi's) surprise, he was right. But that might have had something to do with the kind of woman (American) he was impersonating.

Getting Lavi to act even remotley feminine was extremely taxing on Cloud's mental health. In fact, by the end of it she was ready to shoot Lavi. Actually, at one point she tried to do just that, and nearly took out Lavi's only remaining eye.

Trying to get him to walk like a lady instead of a half-blind drunkard was the most maddening part, but only because when she shouted "For God's sake, stop fooling around and do it right!" he did just that.

Head up, shoulders straight, looking straight ahead, and with an almost exadurated sway of the hips; Lavi did a perfect immitation of how General Cloud walked.

When she was staring at him in awe, he grinned and said "No good? Should I try again?" And then proceded to perfectly imitate Linalee's usual walk- Shoulders lax, head straight, one foot delicately placed in front of the other, all the way across the room.

It was at that point that Cloud stole Cross's gun and started firing.

After the transformation process was complete, the last step to check their disguises was The Cross Test, under the reasoning that if the infamous womanizer wouldn't consider tapping that, then they weren't good enough for a Whorehouse.

Cross's response to seeing Kanda, Allen, and Lavi's womanly covers was "Yes," "probably," and "if I was drunk enough," resulting in blows to Kanda's masculine pride, Allen's dignity, and Lavi's feminine pride. However, not being a woman, the blow did little to no actual damage to Lavi's mental ecosystem, whereas Kanda would forever second guess his ability to call himself a man. Allen's desire to slowly murder his master also intensified, but as this was nothing new it is of little note.

At the end of it all, the boys were on their way to China, and Komui was finally let out of his office.


	7. Nan'Uei and The Day Of Many Plot Points

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: OH MY GOD! SHE JUST KEEPS UPDATING! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!

AN: OH MY GOD! SHE JUST KEEPS UPDATING! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!

* * *

They say that smell is the strongest sense tied to memory. Allen, personally, agreed with this.

The smell of charcoal, for instance, would allways remind him of Mana. He wasn't exactly sure why- Allen was fairly certain Mana had never even been near a furnace while Allen knew him, but regardless, he allways associated him with that scent.

Everyone had their own unique scent, really. Cross, for instance, allways had, and doubtless allways would, smell strongly of smoke and alcohol, with a faint undercurrent of sex. Komui, predictably enough, smelled like spilled coffee, and Linalee of orchid perfume.

Krory had a slight musk about him, but it wasn't an unpleasant smell. Miranda also had a unique odor, but Allen couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was.

Kanda smelled like sweat, and sea water (except not fishy), and everything else salty Allen could think of. Which was strange, because quite generally, he hadn't realized salt had a smell.

And Lavi? Lavi smelled like the forest. Like cedar, and pine, freshly cut firewood. The first time Allen had recognized that smell on the young bookman, it had reminded him of when he and Mana were in a traveling acting troupe in Liverpool. There was a woman who had a cedar jewelery box, in which she stored a bumblebee pin she wore everyday. In that box, she also kept all of her necklaces, and a single ring, Allen remembered. The ring was brass, and the jewels embeded in it were just glass, but he had thought it was a beautiful piece nonetheless. She hardly ever wore it though, because the brass turned her finger green...

The smell of that box used to come in mind mind when he was near Lavi, but he was certain that from now on any time Allen smelled cedar or pine, Lavi would be what came to mind. He didn't mind at all.

Allen loved that scent. In fact, Allen really loved Lavi.

Several seconds after this thought came to mind, the rest of his brain caught up with his thought process and Allen realized that not only had he just thought about how much he loved Lavi, he actually meant it.

He didn't know if this was good or bad, but it was most certainly true. this was going to give Allen something to consider.

* * *

Kanda Yuu was an exorcist. He was a warrior who lived and would die by the sword, and neither hordes of Akuma nor the grinning face of the devil himself would strike fear into his heart.

That said, it was certain that Kanda was not hiding. And certainly not from a tiny chinese woman, whether or not the babbling airhead was trying to chatter at him until his ears bled. Certainly.

He heard Lo Mein's voice sounding from around the corner, "Yuuko! Oh, Yuuko! We still haven't had the chance to hang out with each other and I really wanna get to know you better so we can be friends! Yuuko?"

Kanda's eyes widened in panic as her voice drew closer, and he quickly made his way down the hallway. The door outside was in his sights, his freedom but meters away, except for the fact that the door was blocked.

"This _is_ where I'm happiest, Nan'Uei, I promise. Believe it or not, there are worse fates than mine."

"Like what? You're already-"

At this point, Nan'Uei's sentance was drown out by the sound of Lo Mein's shrill call. "Yuuko! Where are you? I wanna do your hair!"

Kanda leapt for the door. While pushing Chi-Lin out of the his way, he stopped to send her a icy glare, hissing out the threat, "You did NOT see me." He closed the door behind him.

The two sibling exchanged confused glances with one another, when Lo Mein came from around the corner. She looked around frantically, "Hey, have you seen Yuuko?"

Chi-Lin shook her head, causing Lo Mein to frown. "Oh well. If you see her, tell her I'm looking for her, okay?"

The other woman nodded, and Lo Mein scurried off.

Chi-Lin and Nan'Uei looked at each other again, and Chi-Lin shrugged. Nan'Uei cast his eyes at the door, but quickly looked back at his sister. She smiled warmly, and waved him off. He cast her one last glance before leaving.

Outside, Nan'Uei caught up to Kanda and joined him under the large expanse of the umbrella.

"Do you mind if I walk with you for a while?"

Kanda looked at him with a raised eye-brow. "Do you even know where I'm going?"

Nan'Uei smiled awkwardly, blushing. "Well, no, but... Does it really matter? I just... Wanna walk walk with you for a while. Is that okay?"

Kanda continued to glare apathetically, before sighing. "Sure, why not?"

Nan'Uei beamed at him.

They walked together for a long while, with Nan'Uei trying to converse with Kanda, who would reply when he could think of an answer that wasn't an insult.

After an hour or so or wandering, they arrived at Nan'Uei's house once more.

Kanda bid good night to him, but didn't turn to leave as Nan'Uei hadn't actually yet entered his house. The swordsman watched as he fumbled awkwardly for a moment, before Nan'Uei asked an odd request of Kanda.

"Yuuko, I hope I'm not being too foreward, but... May I... If you don't mind, that is... May I kiss you?" He finished, blushing a bright scarlet as he fumbled through the question.

Kanda's eyes widened in surprise. He knew he shouldn't be so shocked; with the way Nan'Uei acted around him his intentions should have been obvious, and yet...

Kanda found himself listening to the sound of his own voice as it replied:

"Alright."

* * *

Oh, NO! I have done the forbidden! I have crossed the line of the taboo! What EVER will my readers do! What the hell could I possibly be planning? And why can you only pick two categories for your fanfics' genre on this website? Read on to find out whether or not I'm actually crazy!

Also, God DAMN! How the hell did I come up with these dumb-ass names? And what the HELL made me decide it would be easier to make them up than to watch the credits of a kung-fu movie to see what passes for a Chinese name? God I'm dumb.


	8. The Brothers and Overlooked Job Details

"There you are, Yuuko! I've been looking for you forever!"

Kanda had forgotten. He had forgotten about the reason he had left in the first place, and now he'd been caught. There was no escaping Lo Mein now, not without use of his blade or a blatant _miracle_.

"Shit." He muttered, as Lo Mein attached herself to his arm gingerly.

"Finally! I swear I must have been looking for hours, and I couldn't find Ellen or Lavi either, so I've just been wandering around! Thank goodness I ran into you when I did, I was just about to give up for the night! Wouldn't that have been such a shame?"

So Lavi and the beansprout had managed to avoid her, had they? How the hell did they pull that off? The girl was practically ubiquitous! Kanda would never hate Lavi again, he was sure, because that damned bookman wasn't even a fraction of the nuisance this girl was.

"Okay, so what should be do first? You're kinda wet, were you outside? You should take a bath to raise your temperature, it's cold out there! Hey, I know! We could take one together! We can wash each other's backs!"

Screw it, he was just gonna kill her. He'd blame it on Akuma. Someone would buy that, wouldn't they?

As he tightened his grip on his umbrella, about to try bludgeoning her so he could escape, a voice cut through Lo Mein's chatter.

"It'll have to wait, Lo Mein, she's got work to do."

Lo Mein pouted. "But I've been wanting to hang out with her all day, Ranfan!"

"Too bad. She and the other two new girls have got clients- the Brothers, to be exact. You'll just have to wait for some other time."

Clients? The miracle that saved him from the airhead was something he wanted even _less_ to do with? Shit.

Kanda glanced towards the ceiling.

 _You know what, universe? I hate you just as much as you hate me._

Lavi, Allen and Kanda were in the hallway outside of the door where their clients waited. Ranfan had escorted Kanda there, and before leaving, gave a few words of advice.

"The Brothers aren't too bad. The older one's kind of handsy, but the little one just likes to watch. Lady Cho all ready collected the fee, but make sure to get more is they ask for anything over the top. That costs extra."

And thus, the three Exorcists were left to their fate.

"Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. What the hell are we even supposed to be doing?"

"Calm down, Yuuko, I'm sure we'll figure something out. Like, uh... " Lavi searched his mind, but came up empty of ideas.

"We could kill them. I like that idea, I say we kill them."

"We still don't have any leads on the Innocence, we can't kill anyone!" Allen scolded. "Besides...I have an idea. It's not a pleasant one, but it's the best option we've got."

The others looked at him expectantly. Allen swallowed nervously, and stated his plan. "You two make out, and I give them hand jobs."

There was a brief moment of stunned silence. Kanda broke it. "THAT'S your plan? That's gotta be the worst fucking idea I've ever heard!"

Allen shot him a fierce glare, "Well, do you have any BETTER ideas? If you do, I'd love to hear them! For god's sake, I even took the worst job! Do you really think I'd be more comfortable touching these assholes than making out with Lavi? Because truth be told, I'd much rather do that! What about you, huh? Which would you rather? Any suggestions, I'm perfectly willing to hear!"

Kanda fumed, but ultimately, had no response.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. This is the way it has to be; I'm the only one of us who has any idea of how to do this. There aren't any other choices."

Lavi looked concerned, "Are you sure about this, Ellen? You don't have to do this."

"Yes I do. If we try to get out of this, we'll just get kicked out of the brothel, and then where will we be? We have a job to do, and this... This is just part of it. That's all. Maybe we could think of something if there was only one, but with two of them, there's just no chance of trickery working."

"Are you even sure _this_ will work? What if they're expecting more?"

"This will work. It has to."

"And why is making out with Lavi part of the plan, anyway? How is that going to help?"

Allen looked at Kanda. "... You're not... attracted to girls, are you Kanda? Because even _I_ admit that two girls together is one of the most erotic things one could ever lays on."

"It is? Wait- Don't make assumptions about me, dammit!"

"Wait, even you admit? What's _that_ supposed to mean, Ellen?"

Allen was past frustrated and into just plain angry, "Oh for God's sake, not now! Kanda, Lavi, go in there and stick your tounges down each other's throats, we're going to get to work!"

Lavi continued looking worriedly at Allen, but in the end, acquiesced. "All right, Ellen, we'll go through with your plan."

Allen sucked in a breath, and opened the door.

"Let's get this over with."

 _"Look at them. Look at how beautiful they are together. Don't take your eyes off of them, not even for a second._ "

After they were done, and the Brothers were satisfied, a fact which proved Allen was not only right but moreover spent way too much of his childhood in whorehouses, Lavi was a little tired.

Granted, molesting Yuu in front of three people could be pretty exhausting, especially considering his partner in their little plan had absolutely no knowledge of human intimacy, physical or otherwise. Meaning Lavi was the one doing all the work.

He supposed it could be worse, though. It was awkward, especially at first, but at least Kanda was someone he knew, and moreover, someone equally hesitant to participate. For some reason, doing something you don't want to do with someone who wants to do it even less makes it a little bit easier. And it's not like Kanda was necessarily unattractive, right?

But in truth... Lavi found himself thinking that he would have much prefered it to have been Allen he had been kissing. He banished the thought from his mind as quickly as it had come. That was dangeous territory, after all. Best not to even go there.

He watched as Kanda made his way to the bath room, probably with the intention of washing Lavi's saliva off of his neck. The bookman turned to Allen, who seemed to be staring at his hands, and offered "We should probably head for the baths, too, Ellen. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling kind of dirty."

Allen didn't respond for a moment, seemingly still entranced by his stained gloves. Abruptly, he turned around, ran towards the nearest corner in the hallway, and proceeded to empty the contents of his stomach.

"Holy _Hell_ , Ellen! Are you okay?" Lavi asked, rushing over worriedly.

"M'fine," Allen muttered, but didn't exactly prove such as he continued coughing up bile for a moment longer. He stood up straight, wiped his mouth, and turned to Lavi, taking off his gloves and tossing them into the general area he had vomited in. "A bath sounds like a great idea, Lavi. I think a nice meal is in order afterwards."

Lavi stared at him, blinking. "Right. You sure you're okay?"

Allen grinned at him. "Perfectly. Although I do think I'm going to need new gloves..." he added thoughtfully, glancing at the recently dirtied corner. Lavi just shook his head, deciding that if there was something really wrong, he'd find out eventually. He really hated how Allen made him worry like this.

Allen couldn't admit to them that the real reason he hated that had nothing to do with touching those men. In fact, he had volunteered to be the one to do so because he knew how to do this kind of job without going crazy- he had talked to many a whore in his day, and most of them said the same thing. The secret was detaching yourself from the situation. Just don't think about it. If you can, leave your thoughts somewhere else, and only go through the motions without feeling anything. After a while it becomes easier because so much of it becomes automatic, but even before you've really mastered detatchment you can still distance yourself from the situation.

Well, alright, the vomiting was probably, in fact, a result of the feeling of the squelch of release between his fingers, sticky and warm and totally foreign, but that was to be expected considering he was sort of new at this.

But other than that, the real reason the situation bothered him so much was something Allen didn't even want to admit to himself.

He had been jealous.

The way he watched Lavi and Kanda touching each other like that, all he wanted was to go over there and... Not even really join them as much as to _interrupt_. To steal Lavi all to himself, so that _he_ was the one touching Lavi like that, so that _he_ was the one who's skirt (or, you know, whatever) Lavi's hand was reaching into, so _he-_

This really wasn't good. This was really, really bad, in fact. Realizing that he was, if not in fact falling in love with the man, then at least harboring a massive debilitating crush on him was one thing. This...Was something else entirely. Really. This was something new to Allen, and something decidedly very very **bad**.

He was fairly certain this was what was referred to as blind, irrational lust. Or something to that effect.

Quite generally, ever since his first ill-timed stiffie when he was thirteen, and the subsequent violation that ensued as part of his "education", Allen Walker had quite successfully managed to kill his sex drive completely through sheer force of willpower. Well, and traumatization. A little of both, really.

But now, his hormones seemed to have reawakened, and were focusing on, of all people, Lavi. (His mind supplied him with the helpful addition that it could be worse; at least he didn't want to bone Kanda, right?)

This new development, paired with romantic-type attachment he had already developed towards Lavi, meant a few things. The first and foremost on Allen's mind was that there was no way Lavi wouldn't notice. Or anyone else, for that matter.

He had dealt with simple crushes before (or like, one, anyway). His ill-fated attraction towards Linalee, to be precise. The trouble with that example was that his crush on Linalee had been solely based off of the principle that he knew he was probably supposed to. After all, she was around his age, someone he liked and admired, and most importantly, the opposite gender. Therefore, logically speaking, he should totally be in love with her, right? Right.

Or not.

While that had been based on a flawed logic, this... _thing..._ with Lavi had no logic to it whatsoever. Therefore, he had no idea where it had come from, (other than, of course, all of the things he could list off that he liked about the young Bookman, but if he started thinking about that he had the feeling that his sense of logic would fly out the window again and he'd get nowhere near solving the problem (and it WAS a problem.)) and he couldn't just will it away or talk himself out of it.

After a while, it was decided that the only real problem here was that Allen was thinking too much about it, particularly when there was nothing that could be done, and quite generally Allen had never been very good at thinking in the first place, much less to such a degree. In fact, in comparison to some of the people he knew, Allen was actually fairly certain he was an idiot.

Maybe he should take up drinking. Then he wouldn't have to think at _all._


	9. Kou Lon and Things What They Found Out

Deep within the seedy bowels of one of the largest port cities in China, there was a house. In that house, there was a kitchen, and in that kitchen were three dresses. Now, within those dresses were were boys, and in those boys were stomachs, and within those stomachs? Well, there wasn't anything.

Allen's head fell to the table with a sigh. "I'm so hungry I can barely move!"

Kanda harrumphed. "Very well. Since you're obviously so painfully useless, I will, once again, cook for all three of us."

Lavi groaned. "But all you know how to make is soba! For the last two weeks straight, it's been soba three meals a day! Can you make nothing else!"

Kanda eyed him. "Soba happens to be the most divine food this world had ever been graced with. How you can get sick of it, I will never understand."

"WE'RE EATING SOMETHING ELSE!"

"Then go ahead and make something else."

There was silence.

Allen blinked, before turning to Lavi with a dead expression. "You don't actually know how to cook, do you?"

"No. Don't you?"

"Are you kidding? Do you know how much of my youth was spent working in kitchens? Of course I know how to cook!" Lavi brightened. Until, that is, Allen continued. "The problem is, I only know how to cook dishes with ingredients available in Europe. I don't even know what half of this stuff is, much less what to do with it."

Lavi stood up, determined. "Very well then. Just because I've never cooked before doesn't mean I can't." He turned to the area where the ingredients were stored and eyed them critically. "With this I know how to make… Uh… I can make either Udon, or… Ooh! I Bet I can make okinomiyaki!"

Kanda stared in surprise. "You can make okinomiyaki?"

"Sure, why not? I know what ingredients are needed, and basically what to do with it."

"Allright. If you make it, I'll eat it."

A while later, Lavi presented three plates of what Allen assumed to be okinomiyaki.

After taking his first bite of it, Kanda stopped. Looked at his plate. And stared. The other two looked at him, and Allen could have sworn he saw Kanda's eyes water, just a little.

"This is… This taste… It's… just like what my mother used to make, before she died."

The pair stared at Kanda in shock.

"It's absolutely fucking disgusting. I never thought anyone would ever be as bad at cooking as her, but you've proved me wrong."

Lavi deadpanned. "Thanks."

"Seriously, did you just throw all of the ingredients together and pour it on the pan? Do you know anything about cooking at all?"

"Oh, go to hell, Yuuko."

Allen tried another bite. "I don't know, it's not that bad."

"Like that means anything. You liked Linalee's cooking."

"What's wrong with Linalee's cooking?"

"Think about this carefully, Ellen. Linalee's brother is Komui. They grew up together. Now, would you trust Komui's cooking?"

"…No. Okay, you've got a point."

Kanda sighed. "Well then, now what?"

"Right now you three twitties get out of the kitchen and let someone who knows what she's doing in." The three turned sharply at the sound of an intruder's voice coming from the doorway. Before them stood one of the other workers of the House, Ranfan. She calmly strode in. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. If any of you had any talent whatsoever you wouldn't have ended up here, after all."

Waltzing past the three stunned boys, she took charge of the kitchen. "I'm making Char Kway Teow, and you're all going to be grateful I'm around to clean up this mess."

They continued staring. Ranfan frowned. "Say 'thank you' and get out."

They obeyed.

That night, Kanda once again found himself sharing an umbrella with Nan'Uei.

Who was smiling brightly at him like an idiot. Like he did almost constantly anyway.

"Xian'Ou's ship just got back earlier today! I came to tell Chi-Lin, but she still refuses to come home, even with the money he brought. But… I'm beginning to think that maybe this is what she really wants, and that I should just let her be. I don't like it, but… There might not be any other way."

His smile had faltered throughout his talking, until it had disappeared altogether. Kanda glanced over at him. He felt like he should say something comforting, but… Not being very good with people, he couldn't think of a single helpful thing. Silence reigned.

"But, it'll be good to have Xian'Ou back home. I have missed him a lot- we were always very close, all three of us, and it's really been hard since he left. With Yao gone, and Chi-Lin in that awful place… I've been pretty lonely, even when I'm occupied by work. It'll be really nice to have him around again- even if only until his next ship leaves."

Nan'Uei smiled again, more subdued this time. "Although… It's been a lot better in these last two weeks. I'm… Glad I met you, Yuuko." He said, turning to Kanda. "And I just want to thank you for being with me. Having someone listen to you is very relieving, and… To be honest, Yuuko, I feel content just being near you."

Kanda, once again, had nothing to say- although this time it had more to do with being struck speechless.

Nan'Uei seemed to realize what he said, as he turned bright red and quickly averted his eyes.

"A-Anyway, would you like to meet him? He'll be home now, and uh…"

He fumbled a little with his words, stumbling off in his sentence. Kanda just shook his head. "It's fine. I'll meet him, if you like."

Nan'Uei smiled again. Kanda suppressed a sigh.

Really, though- at this point he was acting just out of pity.

"Where does Kanda keep going?" Allen asked, more to himself than to Lavi.

"You know what kind of girl Yuuko is. She's probably out working, finding information and chopping down… Trees." Lavi replied half-heartedly.

"Or maybe she's picking up guys." The attempted joke fell flat. It sat in the room awkwardly, waiting to be acknowledged. It never was.

They were once again in a relatively awkward silence. Allen noted that this seemed to be happening fairly often recently. He didn't wonder why. He was rather sure he knew.

Allen felt his left eye twitch to life. He was actually almost glad for the distraction.

Lavi noticed the mechanical screech of Allen's cursed eye as it activated- a now familiar sound. "You know, Ellen, that eye of yours has been acting up an awful lot, hasn't it?"

Allen sighed. "Since we got here. I don't know where, but there's an Akuma that Krory and Noise haven't killed yet. I would have noticed if it'd killed anyone, though- my eye is particularly sensitive when the Akuma actually attack. If they stay incognito, though, I can't pick out where they are."

"Do you think it's nearby?"

"Probably in the building. I spend a lot of time wandering around here, but I've never found it. They're slippery."

"Damn. This place has three floors, so I guess if you don't know where to look… Think we should look for it?"

"Hasn't worked yet." Allen replied sullenly. His eye stopped its high-pitched wail, and the lens materialized.

"Finally! They're close enough to see!" He stood up, triumphantly. "The lobby."

The two headed there, and came face to face with a pretty Chinese woman with stark white skin. She smiled warmly at them. "Ah, you must be the new girls I heard about! I'm sorry that we haven't met yet- I'm Kou Lon."

Allen smiled warmly in return. "Nice to meet you, Kou Lon. I'm an Exorcist."

Her eyes widened, and the smile immediately fell. Lavi took out his hammer.

There was a sudden crash, as Kou Lon fired at the wall- quickly jumping through the resulting hole and speeding off.

"What the hell! She escaped!"

"The fuck? She was supposed to attack! They ALLWAYS attack!"

"Shit! Go after her!"

They would have, too, had a sharp voice not sounded behind them. "What the HELL happened to my wall?"

They turned around sharply, to see a seething Lady Cho.

"…Kou Lon did it."

"I don't care whose fault it is! Fix it!"

"Not now! If we don't go after her she'll kill someone!"

Lavi tried to placate Allen, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Look, now that she's started moving, Marie will hear her. Or Krory. Hell, from the direction she went, I'd say there's also a good chance she'll run into Yuuko- I don't think we need to worry. Especially considering the fact that we don't know where she went and the chances of catching something moving at that speed is ridiculously low. Just cool it."

"Looks like I was right. You're definitely Exorcists." Lady Cho's voice sounded from behind Allen, and he and Lavi turned around sharply to face her.

"Eh? Wait- You KNEW?"

"Of course I did. With you three asking so many questions, and all of the hushed conversations between you? It wasn't hard to figure things out, particularly since I've been expecting you to show up eventually."

"You have?"

"Yes. I've been aware of the Black Order for a long time, now."

"Wait a minute," Allen said, "You mean to tell me, that you knew we were Exorcists, and you didn't say anything? Because that would mean that you let us do your dirty work when we didn't fucking HAVE to?"

Lady Cho smirked. "Hey, a girl's gotta make a living, doesn't she?"

Lavi only just restrained Allen in time to prevent him from tearing the tiny smirking woman apart limb from limb. "Woah, Ellen! ALLEN! Calm down now! Don't kill her!"

"You KNOW what I had to do because of this woman! You were THERE! I'll kill her!"

"It's alright! It's over now, okay? You won't have to do anything else, because we won't be kicked out after all, so just calm down."

Allen did calm down, but only just enough to prevent the decapitation of Lady Cho. "Kanda will chop her to pieces if he finds this out, you know."

"Well then you'd better not tell him, huh?"

Lady Cho blinked in surprise. "'He'? I had figured that you were a man, Red, but the gloomy one, too?"

Lavi turned a little red, but Allen was the next to speak. "Er, all three of us, actually. We're a little short on female Exorcists at the moment, so..."

She raised an eyebrow. "How the hell did you..." Shaking her head, she turned around. "Nevermind. I don't wanna know."

Allen scowled. "No. You DON'T wanna know. Which is why you should quietly let me KILL YOU FOR THIS."

"Allen!"

Kanda instantly knew something was wrong. Having just barely introduced himself to Nan'Uei's brother, he turned to peruse the area, looking around quickly for signs of trouble.

"Yuuko? Is everything alright?"

Kanda lowered his umbrella, changing his grip on the bamboo shaft.

And it came. An Akuma, moving at unnaturally high speeds- a level Two, he was certain. She still mostly retained the form of a girl, save for the cannon coming out of her arm and the star on her forehead. She slowed, coming to an uneasy stop when she saw them.

Kanda eyed her. "You're that other girl- Kou Lon, right?"

There was a brief standstill. Then, the two moved at the same time.

Nan'Uei had no idea what was happening, himself. All he knew was that Yuuko was suddenly acting very strangely, before a strange girl showed up. After that, all he could see was the flash of Yuuko's umbrella spinning as it was tossed into the air. All he could hear was the cold metallic slice of a sword's arc through the air, rending a machine in half. And there was the sound of a shot ringing, the loud noise echoing throughout the air for what seemed like an eternity.

There was a scream.


	10. Xian'Ou and the Night of Intimacies

Allen and Lavi stared at Kou Lon's handiwork. They had been ordered, quite explicitly, to fix the hole in the wall caused by the Akuma that had been hiding in the bawdyhouse when she was discovered.

"...So..." Allen asked uncertainly, "How do we fix this?"

Lavi continued to stare. "I have no idea."

"Do we have any wood?"

"No."

"...Where would we get some?"

"No idea."

They continued staring.

"How about nails, do we have any of those?" Allen asked.

Lavi responded by holding out his open palm, revealing three nails. "We've got these."

"Three. We have three nails. To fix a hole in the wall taller than I am."

"Yup."

"Helpful."

They continued to stare. The hole stared back, menacingly. The wind picked up, and rain started blowing through the gaping wound in the wall, spraying at the pair.

"Shit."

Kanda sheathed his sword in the bamboo confines of the umbrella silently, trying not to wince at Nan'Uei's agonized scream.

"Xian'Ou! XIAN'OU!"The Chinese man wailed, cradling his brother's rapidly decaying body in his arms. Black stars spread from the bullet wound in his chest, instantly petrifying the skin they touched, before his whole body was a brittle black husk. Unable to support its own weight, it dissolved into a fine powdered dust, running through Nan'Uei's fingers like sand.

Kanda turned away.

 **"XIAN'OU!"**

Eventually, the two managed to find an old sail, abandoned near the ports because of a large tear across the top. It was large, and heavy, and the three nails hardly held it up, bending under the weight.

Allen and Lavi didn't care.

They were soaking wet, and Allen's arms were sore from holding the heavy water-soaked sail above his head long enough for Lavi to be able to nail it in place.

Lady Cho surveyed their work with a raised eyebrow. "This is just terrible."

"You gave us three nails and said 'have at it'; what were you expecting, Notre Dame?"

"Fair enough, I suppose, though I don't know what a Notre Dame is."

"A Cathedral in Paris."

"I don't know what either of those are, either, so just stop fishing."

She cast a critical eye over the pair, tsk-ing in dismay. "You three have been wearing the same clothes since you got here. Can I assume you lacked the foresight to bring any spare clothing?"

Allen sighed, swiping a damp lock of hair behind his ear. "Yeah."

She shook her head. "Come on. I'll get you idiots some spare, _dry_ clothes."

"We'd be grateful."

She led them to the third floor, where she ushered them into a room that looked like someone's abandoned personal quarters. She tossed them some towels, telling them she'd be back in a moment.

When she did return, she threw a bundle of cloth at Lavi, told Allen that something in the closet should fit him, and left.

Lavi unfolded the cloth, revealing a large red dress. He gawked for a moment.

"Dios Mia, Jesus and Maria! This must have been Mahoja's."

"Hay-soos and who? Wait, wasn't Mahoja that gigantic woman we met when came here the first time?"

"I never thought I'd say this, but... This dress is way too fucking big. It'll never fit."

"It might be too long, but it should still fit better than anything else in this place." Allen said as he pulled out a mandarin-style dress that looked like the easiest article of clothing to put on in the closet. Lavi had already begun undressing, shucking off his wet top and beginning to unclasp his waterbra.

Allen took off his socks, and reached to undo the lace on the back of his dress. "AH! Shit."

Lavi, dropping his bra to the floor, glanced at Allen. "What's wrong?"

"The muscle under my right arm is still sore from holding up that stupid sail. My left is fine, but I can barely move the right."

"Sorry that took so long, but the damned thing was being uncooperative."

"It's fine," Allen said, "You can pay me back by helping me out of this dress. Can't reach it myself." He said, glancing over his shoulder somewhat shyly.

Lavi swallowed thickly.

Kanda led Nan'Uei into his house, steadying the half-hysterical man's shaking shoulders.

He didn't know what to do. Kanda had never had to comfort anyone before, and no idea how to calm Nan'Uei. All he could do was be there, and hope that having another person by him would be enough to calm Nan'Uei, even a little.

He wasn't certain if it was working, but Nan'Uei had at least stopped screaming, which was enough for now.

Nan'Uei stepped away from Kanda, heading towards a cupboard. "I-I think I'll make some tea. Would you like any tea, Yuuko?" he asked quickly without looking at Kanda. He reached shaking hands into the cabinet to pull out a tea kettle and two cups, but his hands were unsteady, and he dropped the first cup before even being able to place it on the stove. It crashed into the ground, breaking into small ceramic shards, but Nan'Uei didn't bother even glancing down at it when it fell, instead reaching for a second.

Kanda grabbed his hand, stilling it before he could break any more dishes, and gently leg him away from the pantry. Nan'Uei still refused to look at him, though, and had started apologizing for his clumsiness.

Kanda did the only thing he could think of that would distract Nan'Uei; he kissed him.

"Yuuko, w-what are you doing?" Nan'Uei asked nervously, drawing back just a little.

Kanda stared at him dead in the eyes and coolly said, "You have to calm down. It's going to be all right. Everything is going to be all right, so please, just calm down for a moment."

Nan'Uei stared at him for a moment, eyes full of chaotic emotion, and then dove forward, kissing Kanda deeply.

Lavi approached Allen cautiously, noting to himself the faint scent of sweat radiating from his dampened skin. It was oddly alluring. He placed a hand on Allen's shoulder, but retracted it when he felt the skin under his hand shiver at the contact.

"Are you all right?"

"Y-yeah," Allen replied, grateful his back was to Lavi so the other wouldn't be able to see his face flush. "I'm just still cold. I'll be fine once I'm in some dry clothing," he lied, internally berating himself for his reaction to the simple gesture of Lavi's warm hand on his skin.

"Alright, Lavi said, and reached down to the small of Allen's back to grab hold of the lace holding his dress closed.

He pulled the ribbon gently, slowly untying the corseted back. He could feel Allen's skin radiating renewed warmth, and the sensation caused Lavi's own body to respond in kind, flushing at the feel of Allen's heated skin. His hands started shaking just a little as he felt the warmth, the heat; circulate between them, their bodies heating each other.

Lavi slowly untied the last bit of ribbon, and the dress fell off Allen's shoulders, poling around his waist where his arms held the fabric to his body, preventing it from falling to the ground.

He could hear quick, heavy breaths escaping Allen's tantalizing slightly parted lips from over his shoulder.

Lavi found himself unable to resist the temptation of Allen's piquant scent any longer, buried his face in the crook of Allen's shoulder, inhaling deeply.

Allen gasped sharply at Lavi's action, barely managing to stay upright when he felt his knees weaken.

"T-thanks, Lavi," he stuttered weakly, "Could you turn around now so I can finish changing?"

Lavi lifted his head, but his hands remained planted on Allen's shoulders. "What's wrong, Allen?" He whispered, "Why so shy all of the sudden?"

He felt Allen's body tense under his hands, and looked over Allen's shaking shoulders, eyes trailing the lean curve of his torso down to the very visible bodily reaction caused by Lavi's touch which he was so desperately trying to hide.

"Ah. I see," Lavi whispered breathily into Allen's ear.

"Lavi, please just…"

"Let go, Allen." The soft words echoed into the younger's ear, and he felt them throughout his body.

"W-what?"

"Drop the dress. I want to see it. To see _you_."

Almost against his will, Allen's hands slowly loosened his grip on the dress, before letting go entirely to let the damp fabric pool around his feet. He turned around slowly to face Lavi, stepping away from his almost-embrace to better the view.

Lavi's breath hitched in his throat at the sight.

"Oh, god. I was right."

Allen looked at Lavi shyly through half-lidded eyes. "Right about what?"

"I just knew you'd be gorgeous."

Allen averted his gaze, turning away from Lavi shyly. "You've thought about what I'd look like naked, Lavi?"

Suddenly feeling a little trapped, Lavi only managed an awkward, "Uh…"

Allen turned back to him, resolution in his eyes. "Well, fair's fair, Lavi."

"Huh?"

"Fair's fair. You got to see me, didn't you? That means it's my turn."

Lavi blinked in surprise for a moment before a sly grin graced his features.

"Fair _is_ fair, I suppose."


	11. Yi Ze and the Aftermath

Lavi stared Allen's naked form, sated and relaxed, stretched out across the bedcovers like a cat purring after finishing a bowl of warm milk. He watched as Allen sighed, smiling the smile only capable of coming from someone who just got laid, and knew he was in big trouble.

Because quite generally, he had never seen anything so goddamned beautiful in his entire life, and he wanted to live like this. Live next to Allen, sharing a bed with him, feeling that warm body as it curled up next to him for the rest of time.

Which was absolutely out of the question. He had a life to live and a job to do, neither of which involved Allen Walker using him as a pillow, whether he liked it or not.

"This was a mistake."

Allen's head snapped up, and he looked at Lavi with wide eyes. "What?"

He shook his head. "This, this... It's bad. No. This never should have happened."

Allen's eyes narrowed, "Never should have happened? What the hell do you think you're talking about?"

"This was a mistake Allen, and I think that we should both just forget it ever happened."

Leaning forward, the younger leered at Lavi as if in contemplation. After a minute or two, he realized. "You're serious, aren't you? This is really how you want this to be?"

A rueful nod.

"I see. So this is your decision." Allen stood up, the bedcovers pooling around his feet, leaving his gorgeous, sweat-slicked body exposed. "Very well, Lavi. I'll forget about this. However," He slowly walked towards Lavi, gracefully planting each foot in front of him, "you won't. I felt your passion and I saw your desire, Lavi, and I promise you this. You will remember this every day for the rest of your life." At this point, Allen was right next to Lavi, and his words had lowered into a husky whisper in his ear. "The feel of my skin on yours, the sound of my voice calling your name. The taste of my sweat, the sight of my body underneath you," Allen's voice was so soft in Lavi's ear, he could swear he felt his next words more than actually hearing them. " _That heat; the heat of my mouth, of my body on yours, Lavi."_ He had stepped back a little now, and resumed a normal speaking voice, though every word was laced with acid. "You will remember these things for the rest of your life. Every night you will dream of me, Lavi; you will dream of what you once had, and threw away."

With that, Allen turned sharply around, gathered the dress Lady Cho had given him off of the ground and began to cloth himself, not sparing the other another glance.

And Lavi knew that Allen's words weren't a curse or a prophecy- they were the absolute truth.

Lavi left without another word.

Allen entered the room the three shared, looking like he'd like nothing more than to jump off a cliff, and take someone else with him.

Kanda knew something had happened the instant he saw Walker's face. The bean sprout had such an expression of forlornment and self-deprecation that Kanda bet that whatever had happened in a bed. He would further wager, based on previous observations, that that bed had been Lavi's.

Having had a similar encounter himself not an hour before was without a doubt the only reason

Kanda chose to involve himself in Allen's misery- otherwise, he'd probably have had no pity for him. Fuck, he'd have thought it was funny.

He invited Allen to sit down. When he joined Kanda in his pile of empty liquor bottles, the increased proximity made the smell of sex sting quite acutely in Kanda's nose. He took another drink.

"So…" Kanda began stiffly, "What happened?"

Allen looked vaguely confused. "Eh?"

Kanda scowled, but didn't explain, choosing instead to be more direct since he had somehow forgotten Walker was an idiot. "You slept with him, right?"

Allen looked stunned, sputtering out a bewildered "You could tell?"

Kanda opted not to reply, simply staring at him in a silent entreaty to continue.

Allen, after the surprise wore off, looked ashamed and bitter.

"He said… It was a mistake. That we should just forget it ever happened. Then he just… left. I don't know where to."

Kanda didn't have much to say for a moment, before contributing the comment "What an asshole."

Allen buried his face in his hands. "Oh god. I can't believe you just said that. Someone's more of an asshole than _you_. I didn't even think that was possible."

The swordsman looked thoughtful for a moment. "Honestly, neither did I."

"God. I just feel so stupid. I hate myself and want to punch Lavi in the nuts at the same time."

"If you're gonna cry, get the hell out of here first."

Allen glared at Kanda. "Go to Hell, jackass."

"Well, you were acting so much like a little girl, I figured you were gonna start crying next."

"Never mind what I said. You're still more of an asshole."

Kanda took another drink of the liquor he'd been nursing. "Fantastic. But seriously, if you're just gonna whine get out." He thought for a moment before handing over a bottle. "This helps," he offered.

Allen eyed the proffered liquor before relenting. "You know, I once promised myself I'd never drink like Shisou, but…" He reached forward and unplugged the cork. "Oh, well."

"I doubt you're the same as Cross."

Allen nodded. "That's true. This liquor's cheaper, for one." He drank.

They shared a silence for a while, before Allen glanced at Kanda.

"So… This helps, huh? What's it helping you with?"

Kanda just made an odd grunting sound and gestured towards his body noncommittally, taking another drink.

Allen raised an eyebrow in confusion, before thinking about the situation more critically.

Kanda was sitting alone in the room, drinking, and wearing a damp and soiled kimono. Also, he smelled, minus the cigar musk, like the General.

His eyes widened. "Ah. Wait, really?"

"Pretty much."

"Ah. Wow. Okay." Allen looked around the room, feeling awkward. "So… How'd that go for you?"

"Well, he still thinks I'm a woman, for one."

"Nice." Allen shook his head. "Did he try to pay you?"

"No. I left before it occurred to him that he should."

"Hm. So... He use the back door, then?"

Kanda stared at him. He took another drink.

Allen frowned."You were supposed to... I dunno, throw a punch or something."

"It occurred to me. Didn't feel like it."

"Damn. You just had to go and ruin my plans for a nice distracting fist-fight, didn't you?"

"Sorry."

"No you're not."

More silence. Allen was again the one to break it, though.

"Kou Lon got away from Lavi and I. Tracked her down to find a pile of dust and a weapon cleaved in two."

"Got away from the two of you? Che. She was fast, but not that fast."

"We were expecting an attack, not an escape. Bitch broke the damned wall when she left- Cho made us fix it ourselves."

"Hn. Pathetic."

Allen eyed him. "I've seen more pathetic sights."

Kanda didn't reply, only taking another drink. To his dismay, he found the bottle empty, and reached for Allen's, grabbing it out of his hand. The latter aimed a sharp scowl at his companion, who gestured towards a cluster of untouched bottles across the room. Allen stood to retrieve one, muttering "Lazy bastard," as he did so.

As he plucked a fresh bottle from the floor, Kanda spoke again- though whether to himself or Allen's back was uncertain.

"He's dead by now. I'm sure of it."

Allen paused. "There's… Not always something we can do to prevent that."

"I shouldn't have left. He's weak, and alone, and he's stupid. I shouldn't have left."

Allen sighed. "There is one thing that every Exorcist must know before they can even consider taking up the Cross. And that is that the dead should be left in peace. Those who are doomed to die must be left to their fate. Worry only over those that can be saved."

Kanda's head bowed, the frame of his hair shadowing his features. "Heh. Never thought I'd hear something like that from a sentimental martyr like you."

Allen scoffed. "The one thing Shisou ever taught me of any value. So naturally, I didn't listen."

And the two laughed, bitterly, into the night. Laughed and drowned their regrets in drink.

Lavi entered the little restaurant, distractedly looking around. He hadn't actually known where he was going when he left Allen alone in the room like that, and had ended up outside in the rain, just to get his fresh dry clothes (the fresh dry clothes that had started this mess) soaking wet. He had wandered into this small eatery because it was the first place he found that was actually open.

A middle-aged woman greeted him when he entered. "Hello! Have a seat, please! I don't have any menus, but we have pretty basic courses- fish, drink, the like. You name something, I'm sure Wen- that's the cook, by the way- can make it for you."

He startled a little, before scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. "Heh, I'm sorry, but I didn't think to take any money. I just sorta ended up here."

She narrowed her eyes at him, looking at him critically. Then, she smiled brightly, grabbing Lavi's arm and dragging him to a seat. "Well, then, if you can't pay me in money, you'll have to pay me in entertainment."

He blinked owlishly. "Huh?"

"I'll get you a warm drink, and you can tell me about what might have happened to drive you into my arms in the middle of the night."

Lavi sighed. "I guess you've got a deal."

When she returned with a pot of tea and two cups, sitting down across from him, he began with a question. "I gotta ask, ma'am. Why are you doing this? At a time like this I'd figured every customer would make a difference, how can you afford to waste good tea on me just for a conversation?"

She smiled. "Times like these are when it's most important to receive a little good will, don't you agree?"

He laughed. "That's true! I just hadn't figured I'd find someone who thinks so, is all."

"So," the small woman began, "Why don't you start by telling me why you seem to be wearing the dress of an extraordinarily large woman?"

"It was, uh, kind of the first thing I picked up. I was in a hurry when I left."

She smiled knowingly. "Sounds like lover's troubles, then. Care to elaborate?"

"Not particularly. I don't even know where to start. Hell, I'm not even sure whose dress this is. I think it might be a dead woman's."

" _That_ certainly is interesting, at least. But I understand. Love can often be painful. But, in my experience? It's always worth it." She said, eyes twinkling. Lavi caught her glancing towards the kitchen, as if staring at something intangible by vision alone. "Most people don't even think about love. They marry who they're told to marry, and every so often they might find a shred of happiness with that person, but more often than not... Well, the children can feel it. When the parents of a child aren't in love, the child is affected. I know I was." She turned back to Lavi. "On the other hand, sometimes people will find love and chase it. That's what I did. My sister told me I'd regret it, that marrying Wen would be the worst mistake I could make, but in the end? I'm happy, and her husband sold her when their child was too weak to survive her first year. Poor, poor Kou Lon. It's sad to think of, but there is always sadness in life."

"Your husband is Wen?"

"Did I not mention that I'm married to the cook? A thousand pardons, child. Come to think of it, my name is Yi Ze. And you are?"

He smiled. "Lavi. I'm Lavi."

"Lovely. So, I seem to have told you all about me, so why don't you tell me a little more than your name?"

He didn't speak for a moment, staring at nothingness, caught in his thoughts.

There were a lot of things he could say. There were a lot of reasons he _could_ have walked out on Allen. He could go on a very long explanation of what it means to be a Bookman, and everything involved with that, but that's not why. He'd been a pretty shitty Bookman since long before he undressed the Destroyer of Time, and he knew it. It started with Allen not-dying, escalated with Linalee not-dying, came to a screeching fiery crash with Rhode's Dream House of Horrors, and went all downhill from there. This really wasn't even surprising anymore. He was a shitty historian and he knew it. So that wasn't it.

He could also make up something about the Vatican's view on homosexuality when the Black Order is controlled by the damnable organization, but he actually cared about that even _less_.

He could also say that this was just some hormonal teenage whatever-the-hell, and that there was no way it would last, but that one he knew better on because while relationships based on the heat of a single moment never worked, ones forged during hard times and the trauma of war usually ended up as a lifelong bond. Quite generally, if this wasn't a traumatic time of war, he didn't know what was.

But the truth was none of these. The truth was actually far less logical, and based more on emotion than reason, which was rare for Lavi.

He sighed, and turned to Yi Ze. "If... If your husband went to war, and you knew he could, and probably would, in fact, die at any time, how would you deal with it? Especially... Especially knowing that there's a good chance that you'll be there to watch, to have to see him die, and there will be nothing you can do about it. How would you deal with that? What would you do?"

Yi Ze looked taken aback by his question. She thought about it carefully, before giving Lavi a careful answer. "Well, I would do my best. I would support him, and try to make every day the best day of his life, so that when he does die neither of us would have any regrets, because we'll have lived the best lives that we can. Because I'd do my best to fill every day with happiness, just in case it _is_ his last. And when he does die, I will continue to love him, and continue to try to make every day as happy as possible because I know that that's what he would want for me."

Lavi scoffed a little. "Then you're a stronger person than I am, Yi Ze. A stronger person than I could ever be."

Lavi walked into the room the three Exorcists were sharing to find a very strange sight.

Allen, who seemed to have only bothered to get his dress most of the way on before giving up, or perhaps had it on and decided there were too many clothes right now but was too lazy to entirely undress, was currently draped over a mostly-dry Kanda (who seemed to have had a similar opinion about his clothing, as his obi was undone but still around his waist and his hair had almost entirely escaped the ornaments that had been holding it up) sucking on a bottle of rice wine. They seemed to be surrounded by empty liquor bottles and having a slurred argument, but about what Lavi had no idea.

"What the FUCK happened here?"

His presence was not greeted warmly.

"YOU! This is your fault to begin with, you... MAN. Jerk. I hate you ALL. Why are there three of you, anyway?" Allen accused.

"Why the hell are you drunk, Allen?"

Kanda scoffed. "You heard him. He said it's your fault. So why don't you just... Yeah. Go on."

"That didn't even make sense!"

Allen stood up shakily, stumbling over to Lavi and shoving a finger into his chest. "Well, you are too tall, and a perverted BASTARD, and... And your tits are always crooked!"

Lavi looked affronted. "What? They are not!"

"It's called _depth perception_ , jackass! Get a second fucking eye or look in a mirror! You look like a damned whore!"

"That was the point!" Lavi sighed. "Look, I'm not doing this. You're clearly drunk, so I'm just gonna go."

"Well, whose fault is THAT?" Kanda jumped in, "You're the one who dined and dashed on the little bastard, or else I'da been drunk alone! So there! Stupid rabbit."

"What the fuck, Yuu? You're suddenly actually agreeing with Allen?"

"That'll happen when I'M RIGHT" Allen shouted, before throwing his bottle at Lavi, missing and having it crash into the wall.

"Oh, fuck," Lavi said, quickly exiting the room before Allen managed to take out his other eye. He heard shouting behind him, mostly along the lines of "You'd BETTER leave! Bitch!" and dashed downstairs.

He sat down on one of the Visitor Couches, buried his face in his hands and muttered "I gotta get out of here before they start PMSing."


	12. ChiLin and The End

The next morning, Allen had a large headache. He had never drunk before, so the massive amounts he consumed last night had hit him hard. He was mildly surprised he hadn't died of alcohol poisoning.

His mood was not improved by Lavi's appearance.

He looked at Lavi through narrowed eyes. "What is it?"

Lavi didn't look very excited for his part, either. "We need to talk."

Allen sighed. "I should have known."

"Look, this needs to be said. I know you're pissed at me for bailing last night, but I had some thinking to do."

"I'm not upset about that."

"Well, you sure as hell were at the time. That's not the point. The point is, I did think about it, and I figured out why I bolted like that. It's because I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you, and that scared the shit out of me."

At this revelation, Allen looked hopeful, but still wary. "Okay. So what does that mean right now?"

Lavi sighed. "I'm not entirely sure. Loving someone and being with them are two entirely different things, and I'm not sure I can do this."

Allen looked to the ground, trying to hide his face from Lavi. It wouldn't do to let the other see that he's upset. "Well. Why not?"

The bookman scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. "Because I care too much. I saw you die once, and it tore me apart inside. I can't go through with that again. You allways do reckless things, willing to sacrifice yourself for anyone, and I can't deal with that kind of worry. The fact that the next mission you could go on could easily be your last, the thought that you'd throw yourself into a fire to pull out someone who's allready dying. I would be sacrificing a lot for this, and I can't do that for something that will only bring me pain. Cowardly as it is, I just can't do it, Allen. Not even for you."

"I..." The exorcist faltered with his words. Hesitantly, he tried to explain, "I understand. And you're right. I could never stop doing these things. Not only because I rarely think before I act, but... Because this is my life." He looked up at Lavi. "I realized a long time ago that being an Exorcist is the only reason I exist," he said, lifting his left hand foreword to look at it. "I live for the sake of saving others. Saving people from Akuma," Allen lifted his right hand now, too, "And saving Akuma from themselves." He rolled up the sleeve of his left arm, flexing the blackened skin of his Innocence. "This is the proof of that. I can't give that up. I can't let myself be so selfish as to forget my purpose. I do love you; I want to spend every day with you; talking to you, anything. But I can't. And you're right. This is for the best. You have your life as a Bookman, and I have mine as a weapon. Neither of us can afford to be distracted."

Allen looked Lavi in the eye. "But you're wrong about one thing. I don't want to forget about this. And I don't want you to, either. I won't take back what I said last night. I want you to dream of me every night, Lavi. Becasue I know..." he hesitated, unsure if he should finish. "Because I'll be dreaming of you."

Lavi's expression softened. "Yeah.I'll also-" His words were interrupted by the high-pitched squeal of Allen's eye activating, "What the FUCK?"

Allen blinked. "An Akuma, it seems."

"From last night?"

The younger shook his head. "Impossible. Last night Cho told me they'd tracked her down- Kanda killed her. This one is..." Allen's eyes widened. "Oh God. We have to find Kanda."

"What? Why him?"

Allen was allready making his way towards the door. "Because I know who this is. Or was. Come on."

The pair rushed up the stairs to their joined bedroom, where they were fortunate enough to find the Exorcist combing his hair out. "What is it?" He asked irritably. He looked up to see Allen's eye reeling. "An Akuma?"

Allen looked at him with a pained face, eyes shining with emotion. "I'm sorry, Kanda."

The swordsman's eyes widened. He didn't say another word, merely grabbing Mugen and running out of the room.

Lavi and Allen followed.

They passed out of the bordello and into the rainy morning easily enough, but not without being noticed by Lo Mein and Ranfan.

The two girls looked at eachother. "What do you suppose their hurry is?" Lo Mein asked.

Ranfan's eyes narrowed. "I don't know, but there's something weird going on. I'll follow them, you go find Lady Cho."

Lo Mein saluted. "Right-o! I'm on it!" She said, dashing off. Or at least tried to. She fell over before getting three steps.

Ranfan sighed. "Nevermind, I forgot who I was dealing with. You follow the three of them, I'll find Lady Cho. Got it?"

When Kanda, Allen and Lavi got outside, they found out that Chi-Lin was allready there.

"Nan'Uei," She said, surprised, "What are you doing here allready? You usually don't come until after nightfall." She pinched her eyebrows together as concern dawned. "Are you allright? You look... Strange..." She commented, watching the odd way her brother lumbered foreward.

Disturbed by the lack of response, she questioned further. "Where is Xian'Ou? His ship docked yesterday, didn't it? Is he still home?"

Finally, the creature stopped, mere metres away from the scarlet woman. An eerie metallic chuckle escaped its lips. "Xian'Ou... Is dead. Dead, _dear sister_."

Her eyes widened. "Wh-what? What do you mean? What happened? Nan'Uei?"

Kanda stepped in front of her, pointing his blade at the Akuma. "That's not your brother."

Chi-Lin stared at him. "What do you mean? How could that be? What is going on here, Yuuko? And where is Xian'Ou?"

By now, the entire populus of the House was gathered by the door. No one moved, however. They simply watched quietly. The rain showered down over them, but none seemed to even notice.

Kanda took another step towards the Akuma, readying his blade. "Xian'Ou is dead. I saw it with my own eyes. And Nan'Uei is dead, too. This is a monster wearing his skin, and nothing more."

Chi-Lin gasped in horror, covering her mouth with her hands as the tears welled in her eyes. Thunder crashed in the sky, and the rain began to downpour more, pelting the muddy ground incessantly.

The Akuma laughed that horrid inhuman laugh once more. "That's true," it said, as its face contorted, twisting into the barrel of a pistol. Chi-Lin cried out in horror, and Kanda lunged foreward.

This time, the Akuma didn't get a chance to fire before the Exorcist cleaved it into scrap metal. The rain hardened further, and the wind blew viciously as Chi-Lin fell to her knees, weeping.

There were no words. Just Chi-Lin's anguished cries.

"Why?" The bereft woman cried, "Why is this happening? My parents weren't enough, my lover wasn't enough, now you had to take both of my brothers as well?" She sobbed. Lightning crashed, and the rain pelted down with enough force to sting the skin. "It's not fair! It's not fair! I hate this wretched city and everyone in it! This damnable hellhole would be better off destroyed!" Puddles of rain grew into lakes, and the entire ground was covered by at least an inch of water. "Everything should be drowned! The sea should swallow the land and wash away the stench of this foul place!" Somewhere, a dam broke.

"Wash it all away! Wash it all away! Wash it all away!"

Water flooded everywhere, and by now everyone was up to their ankles.

"WASH IT ALL AWAY!"

Skin turned red by the harsh abuse of the down-pouring rain.

" **WASH IT ALL AWAY!"**

"CHI-LIN! Get ahold of yourself, woman!"

She looked up at Kanda. The sound of rain was the only fill to the silence. Kanda began speaking again.

"The one responsible for the deaths of your brothers is called The Millenium Earl. I can't give you condolences for your lover or parents, but your brothers you can avenge. And even if vengeance doesn't appeal to you, you can't deny the opportunity to prevent this from happening to other people. Chi-Lin. This rain is proof of your power. You are a disciple of God, and you have the power to do great things. You can flood this city, or you can use this power for something better. It's up to you."

Chi-Lin stared up at Kanda. Slowly, she nodded.

The rain slowed, and finally, for the first time in months, stopped.

The sun broke through the clouds.

In the end, the Innocence was in the form a small doll with human hair and glowing green eyes. It had been a gift to Chi-Lin from her her fiance as an early wedding present, apparently given with the promise that it would belong to their first child. After he died, however, she couldn't bring herself to part with it.

Lady Cho, Ranfan and Lo Mein, now the only three people remaining in Lady Anita's Hose of Pleasure, abandoned the brothel when they were offered jobs in the Black Order. Lady Cho would be a Finder, and Allen was confident that there would be a job for Lo Mein _somewhere._ Apparently, Ranfan was a scholar, or so she claimed during an enraged tangent upon her realization that she no longer had anywhere to work. Apparently, aside from a foul temper, Ranfan also had degrees in both English and Chinese Literature, and was fluent in the writing of both languages, knowing over twenty-thousand characters of the complex Chinese alphabet. She had learned from her father, who had planned on arranging a job for her at a University. However, the University had been destroyed, her father killed, and she was left with no options. And she was pissed. Upon the end of her rant, Lavi informed her that the Order could use someone of her skills, as there was no shortage of overdue paperwork she could help with. Particularly since Komui had a tendency to write in both English and Chinese when he was in a hurry, and no one knew how to read his notes because of the mish-mash of languages, forcing one to be both fluent in the writing systems and understand how Komui thinks in order for there to be any hope of reading them. Ranfan was perfect for the job. It also got her to stop yelling, which was a plus for everyone.

On the train home, Lavi, Allen and Kanda shared a compartment. Kanda sat on a side to himself, and didn't move him eyes away from the window for the entire trip. In the window's reflection, he could see Lavi and Allen sitting next to each other, leaning on one another. Their hands were woven together tightly, cling to one another as though they were afraid that if they let go the other would disappear.

There were no words spoken.

The End.

...

Okay not really. Epilogue and Author's notes and explanations await.

Except no. They would've, but I just stopped caring. There. Fic's done. Can't be improved. I tried. That's what took so long- me trying to make it better. But no. I give up. Done now.


End file.
